Photo credit http://www.bugbios.com/ced4/freedom.jpeg
I have written a bit about my conflict in my identity between my more groomed defined sense of self and my more free flowing sense of self.
I feel two changes are imminent.
One: I want to dreadlock my hair. Which for anyone who knows me, they would be rather surprised by this. However, I have a long standing tradition of changing my hair when I go through personal change, and I don’t want to cut it all off or dye it. And I want my hair to say something about who I am and the choices I make in a bold kind of way – not in a trying to hide behind elegance kind of way. I am quite concerned about how the IL’s will respond – which in a sense is what is driving this idea. I feel like by making my hair into dreadlocks I am saying “eff you”. I guess I have to figure out what else I could do to achieve the same effect. I know that breastfeeding my son in their company would have the same effect – but I do not feel comfortable using DS like that. I want this to be about me.
Two: I am looking into starting Nia dance. I have always longed to dance and loved folk dancing as a child. I wanted to do ballet, but was given Eurythmy instead. So, now I am going to try Nia and see if I can overcome my huge insecurity when it comes to moving to music in the presence of others.
Yay me – life is happening.