Some more on mourning

I feel that my mother is no longer with me.

I feel it so acutely and it makes me so sad. I want to believe in some form of life after death (not  with angels and harps, white and gold) – I would go so far as to say on some level I do believe in it – some as of yet undefined experience beyond the death of a physical body. But for now the communication is not working between me and my mother. I am not dreaming of her, I am not getting any ‘messages’ or strong impressions or anything reassuring like that. She is just gone. There is just a hole in my life – no matter how much I wish there were not.

It’s hard.

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