Why am I comparing?

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Not having many friends who are mothers around me and living far away from my good friends who are mothers, I rely quite heavily on the internet for my support and inspiration. I have learned a phenomenal amount from other mothers on discussion boards and through blogs.

I was reading A Small Tribe, a blog I found through the Waldorf forum on MDC and was really struck by a post written about the reality of a Waldorf Inspired home – behind the scenes so to speak.

I do aspire to have a TV free home, eat orgnanic food, use cloth nappies, rely on lifestyle to support immune systems rather than vaccination to create immunity, have open ended toys made from natural non toxic material, etc etc etc. I work really hard to make this happen for my family.

However, we do have a 3 computers for 2 adults – one lap top each and a large computer that is used as a media centre for late night movies and music. And DS is very attached to a black 4X4 look alike toy that was given as a present some time ago.

But what got me thinking is that perhaps I am not being honest with myself in my portrayal of my life, both online and in my own head. I often wonder how it is that I have managed to cut TV out from our lives and ensure that DS has tasted sugar once, maybe twice in his almost 18 months. And keep the branded, electric, plastic toy fest out of our house.

I read about other mama’s who only eat home made orgaic local food – EVER. And I know that will never be me. We do go out to cafe’s and even order pizza on nights where I am just finished. I like to think that we will only ever have local fresh organic made from scratch meals on our table – but I also know that that will never be possible 100% of the time. If I can get 18 out of 21 meals a week made from scratch I am achieving my 100%. And even that is a strech. In all honesty, I reckon 17 out of 21 meals is more realistic. And this is with DH doing most dinners.

I also read about other mama’s who keep a very strong rhythm in their homes and I cringe inwardly. I have read enough to suspect that rhythm is very important – but I just can’t get the kind of rhythm going that I have read about in Waldorf Homeschooling materials. I might get there one day, but for now it is work in progress.

Pictures that I take invariably show the mess in my house and I rephrane from posting the pics It’s crazy, but I worry about the bag of rubbish hanging from the cuphord handle in the backround or the litter of objects that DS has taken out of the cuphoards or brought in from the yard… This is perhaps the most intimidating thing for me. Other blogs from mama’s who have the richest most vibrant photos – and I feel so bland in comparison.

It is quite intimidating having glimpses into other families lives and wondering what my choices say about me and my life. Although for the most part, I take inspiration from the women I come across on the internet. I feel a little less lonely and isolated.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Why am I comparing?

  1. Loved your blog, especially about the plastic and food.

    Hey, I know what you mean about other people’s photographs! I only put my t-shirt photographs online and I just wish I could make them look as good in photo’s as they do in front of me.

    Your photographs are brilliant. Haha, I went back and took another look before I even noticed the jeans on the floor, LOL!

    Take care.

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