I don’t like to jump to conclusions about people, but I have to be honest and say that the story that follows left me with the conclusion that this mum is having a very hard time and has somehow had the ‘common sense ability’ neutralized.
I have just come home from our well baby visit (WBV). This is something I have decided to stick with despite not vaccinating. I have found a nurse who doesn’t give me a hard time, and I am happy to have a medical record for DS. To date the medical record shows a healthy and thriving boy – nothing wrong with that 😮
The nurse was on a phone call with her supervisor when I stepped into the room. The previous mum had been a young woman with a small infant (a couple of months) who from the sound of things was having a really hard time adjusting to being a mum. She had been measuring her babies temperature 8 times a day since she gave birth. 8 times a day!!!!! Somehow she got it into her head that a good parent does this. WTH? She also phones the doctor all the time for every concern she might have.
Now, I take my hat off to the nurse. She is arranging for a community nurse to go to this womans home and give her a boost of confidence. I can’t even imagine being emotionally at the place where I have so little confidence in my mothering that I constantly am seeking reassurance from medical staff. Not all pediatric nurses would think to really try and get a new mum the help she needs. I was so happy to see someone who really cared 🙂 🙂 🙂
But it got me thinking. What could have happened to someone to give them such a low opinion of themselves and their capabilities? I know there are women who have a hard time adjusting to being mothers and it does not come easily to all women. But what does it say about our culture that women do not have the confidence to be mothers? Am I missing something? Do I live in some sort of bubble where I know what my child needs (most times anyway) and I trust myself to be able to care for him (most times anyway)? Is this unusual in some way? Perhaps I am being too harsh on this mum. She looked young and her husband looked rather intimidating – and who am I to judge?
I guess the heart warming part of the story for me was the attitude of the nurse and her commitment to giving this mum the tools to deal with caring for her infant.
But it makes me sad that there are mums out there who have yet to find their confidence to apply some common sense to the problem and trust themselves as mothers. I wish I could find a way to make mothering a positive experience for all women….. and now I shall fantasise about that most of today I guess.